Can co-workers be friends and like family?

There are companies still like this. There are a couple of considerations. It can can be tough for the leader if certain boundaries are not set or the leader isn't strong enough to handle this type of environment. Most times what I see happen is the leader is so close they can no longer lead effectively. The team has to know you are still their leader and have business to take care of. If you get your dream team working for you this shouldn't be a problem. When you cultivate an environment of caring and passion for what each of you bring to the table your team will have more skin in the game and will work in a fashion as to not let you down.

Each of you has to respect the relationship but more importantly respect and live into the companies mission, vision and values. Hold each other accountable to those values and be transparent enough to be able to call each other out on them.

I don't know that you need to start your own company to have this; you can start it with your own team. Read about servant leadership and The Advantage by Patrick Lencioni describes how to create a trusting relationship with cross accountability.

You can have the same great relationships in a company and still drive that passion you describe. I have worked in older "stodgier" companies where you could accomplish this within certain business units/departments. I think that no matter what, you need to be able to step outside of the role you have to objectively evaluate employees. Make sure your performance objectives are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time scaled). This allows you to objectively measure your employee performance.

There are some companies that foster the family and friends connection. The idea is that if you are a good employee, you have certain qualities that are also common among your friends and family. A highly ethical worker with a great work ethic is less likely to be involved with people that are opposite. This logic falls apart with the saying, “opposites attract.”

These companies usually have also set in place several rules, such as one spouse cannot report to another spouse.

Regardless of the company, you are the only one in charge of your emotions. Please take a look at a blog I wrote – “Emotions in Business” posted on this site 06.27.2014. Within reason, your emotional strengths can be an asset, or self-destructive. The trade-off will follow you anywhere you go, because it is your nature.

My short answer is yes. I read this question and knew I had to share some experiences I've had as maybe they'll help others like us. As you said anon, it's your nature. It's mine too.
I love what Christie said. You need your team to see you as a leader. Being a servant leader isn't what is often thought of in this world as the way to get ahead, but it is a great way to lead. I always try to let my team know that I won't make them do anything I wouldn't do myself, and then I need to show that in real life so it's just not talk.
Sometimes the company mission doesn't lend itself to motivating people, but relationships can fill that void. I try to show interest in their development and caring for them as people. My teams have respected these things and have cared about their work as a result.
On the flip side, I would err on the side of caution with your superiors if you have them. I have shared a lot with superiors and it's hit or miss as to how they'll respond. Even if you're sharing info about your team, keep it professional and choose your topics wisely. If you're doing the above, trying to develop people and getting to know them, your superior probably doesn't need to know details.
I hope this helps...

Isn't it more about the individual than the company culture? We have folks who like to be "social" but we also have those that want to keep their work life and personal life separate. You engage with the groups differently. You can care about work life (career, workload, etc.) without crossing the line for those who don't want you to go there.

Absolutely yes. But start with putting human nature first (within reason) before business success. The first will take care of the second.

Before I start, a disclaimer: I was taught to use the masculine form when referring to an individual in a collective. The use of "he", "his", "him", and etc. do not indicate male dominance (unless otherwise noted), but to clarify that I am referring to an individual of any sex rather than a group, in which case I use the collective, "they" and etc.

The trend I see is that companies and employees are not as connected as they once were. There used to be a title an employee earned, "Company Man". (This was back in the days of male workforce superdominance.)

Now, "company man" is a derogatory term synonymous with "corporate suckup". This became a bad term because companies showed that they no longer valued company loyalty (not all companies, but enough that the effect stuck). Companies showed they would layoff if it meant a better earnings report. They would replace a man who has been doing his job for years, with a young guy, fresh out of college, at half the pay, and could save money by not having to provide a pension for the older no longer employee.

This turned into a lack of loyalty on the employees' part. Employees learned that to stay employed, they needed to constantly improve their value to the company. But, the return for investment of self-improvement was diminishing. It was more profitable for an employee to go elsewhere to apply their talents. A corporate rival willing to pay more for their present skills, or to a related job in a non-competitor, or to start their own company.

In turn the companies found that without loyalty, employees are merely tools to be used and discarded when no longer useful.

This has turned our workforce more transient. That movement prevents us from getting close to our coworkers or our employers/employees. By the time you make a friend, they are moving on. This means that investing time to build friendship and trust is not worth it, in most cases.

I see all of this as a good thing. It will make the workplace a better place

Employees are learning that they will be paid what they are worth to an employer. Employees will be able to confidently ask for the money they feel they deserve, instead of relying on some structured wage scale that ignores personal contribution. If an employee feels confident that he will be paid better by being more valuable, he will work harder to become more valuable.

Employers will pay for what they value. As an employee works to develop value to the company, he will become more valuable to the company. The company will pay more to retain that valuable employee. Corporate layoffs will be less frequent and only occur when drastic measures are needed to keep the company alive. It will make the bean-counter's job harder in that he cannot justify large layoffs if the individuals involved in said layoff are intimately valuable to the company.

What the employee needs to do is be more proactive in their own goals instead of relying on the actions of others. You will need to plan for your retirement by personal investments. You will need to improve your skills instead of sleepily arriving every day to punch a clock. You will need to be aware of areas you need to improve.

You will become a better person. You will become more satisfied with yourself and your work. You will discover your life outside of your work.