Dealing with employees with negative attitudes. How to change?

Thanks, Keith, good thoughts. The "completing projects" refers to a cross-training effort on one of our major processes, owned by the older employee. There have been issues with sharing information, so we got to the point that I had to designate who would complete each part of the process, and exclude anyone else from touching that part. I found out the woman was having the older employee do a part he was excluded from. She said it was the only way she could learn . . . . that having written and spoken directions wasn't working. She never brought this up until she was caught . . . she said she was going to have him do it, in complete contrast to my instructions.

That's what I was referring to.

I agree with Keith and add the discussion should cover growth and development. Have her gain confidence in advancing her knowledge, skills and abilities, channeling the negative energy to something more productive and positive. Hope this helps.

Taking what you said:

1. Don't have meetings behind closed doors unless there is a third person present. (Better yet record the sessions and make it clear that the sessions are being recorded by having consent by speaking - talk with your General Counsel).
2. Document, document and then document everything.
3. Speak with the General Counsel.
4.. Make it clear what is and isn't acceptable behavior.
5. Document some more.
6. Discharge her.

This is a law suit just waiting to happen. From sexual harassment to hostile workplace and beyond. The psychological issues run too deep and unless your trained in dealing with this level of issues, don't.

I have an employee that is very sensitive and takes things very personal so my approach would be very similar to what Keith suggests in scenario #1. It's really all about your confidence in your conversation and being prepared. Rehearse what you want to say and be firm but compassionate. Tell her you care about her as an employee and only want to see her improve.

I also agree with Wayne, be cautious and consider liability and heavily document all conversations you have regarding performance or behavior issues. They will come in handy if you do decide to terminate with unemployment.

Thanks for the great advice! I can see this spiraling like you describe, she has started making a point of delineating what errors that I have discussed with her in the past, and what errors she does not remember me mentioning. Her memory is spotty.

Today, she came to work telling me about some additional personal problems. I directed her to our EAP program and gave her the contact information. She went on to talk about needing her friends (me). I took this as a chance to remind her that I am her boss first and foremost. While we all try to get along, she is better off relying on her friends and family outside of work.

I have also mentioned the situation to my boss. I will begin compiling more documentation of situations and our conversations, send more "to summarize our conversation" emails.

I'll keep you updated!

I noticed a lot of advice regarding legal and HR steps to prevent lawsuits, etc. That may be a good idea, but when I was originally reading your post, I got the impression that this was a small-medium sized company. In that environment, its much less HR/Legal and more personal.

Is there a former boss of hers with whom you could speak and confide your challenge? They may have already addressed this situation.

Also, you could simply frame up in 3 sentences or less your challenge with her (i.e., personal too heavy versus professional, etc.) and in a gentle but firm way discuss this with her and ask her to make a recommendation on next steps. Instead of you solving her problem, ask her to solve it.

Avoid any and all situations where you would be alone with her behind closed doors. Then, you need to make an assessment of the situation as it impacts your job. Is she so good that it is worth the high maintenance to keep her around? Or, is the effort you are putting in impacting your ability to perform? If the latter, it is time to come up with a plan to move her out. If she is worth keeping, make sure you are having a conversation with her about the behaviors she needs to change. As for her emotional reaction, that may be her "make up" and you just need to let it happen unless it is impacting others.

Usually, it is not worth your emotional and professional energy to continue dealing with these situations. I would move toward termination. Otherwise you will be dealing with this FOREVER. Take it from me. I work in a governmental setting and am dealing with a similar situation. Employee disrespects supervisors, walks out on meetings, blows up, is secretive about their job and is not helpful. It is a verbally abusive atmosphere that has been going on for four years and shows no sign of changing.
Don't be afraid of "legal issues," most employees serve at will. Just get rid of her ASAP.
Good luck.

This is a common form of manipulation by which she has learned to get her way and control others. As long as she continues to get the expected response, i.e. people tiptoeing around her and giving her what she wants, there is no reason for her to change. Even if you gave her the most important reason you can to change, i.e. to save her job, she may not know how, or may not be self-responsible enough to follow through and do so. If you have access to an HR professional and/or attorney, work closely with them and your management to manage her back in or out.

Simply put, be very specific about what behaviors she is doing that are detrimental to herself and her team, and how; what she needs to do to change them, and by when; the resources that are available to help her change, like EAP; and what will happen if she fails to follow these clear, fair and non-discriminatory management instructions. Clarify that this is a professional environment, you recognize her as a professional who wants to be treated and perceived as such, and this is how she can do it. If she throws a hissy fit, let her go and pick it back up when she calms down. Make that a learning moment to point out that this is the very behavior you are referring to that is unacceptable in a professional environment. Then document everything with dates, times, places and details of discussions and behaviors. Follow up, follow through with actions as promised, and do not let it go on forever. If she improves, then falls back when things cool down again, pick up the process where you left off, not back at the beginning. If she threatens to sue for discrimination or unfair treatment, so be it. People can and will sue for anything, but if you have properly followed your policies and processes, given her every chance to improve, and treated her the same as anyone else similarly situated, she will not have a legal leg to stand on. Better yet, you will be rid of a destructive energy and productivity hole.

Has your company ever provided a copy of "employee handbook" and/or a document to the employees which clearly identifies thier individual job description and performance requirements,dress and conduct policies etc? If so, have they signed a letter stating that they have reviewed the information and understand it?

You've taken some time to articulate in detail what the behavior is, so I have no doubt you will discover the answer. I agree with the people who have received positive votes here. Every person is an individual, so don't take a one size fits all approach.

Outline the behaviors required for her role and explain how you benefit from those behaviors. Also outline the negative behaviors and how you are negatively impacted by them. She sounds like she is trying hard to please, and may have some emotional trouble with rejection, so help her understand how to be successful and tell her what you are looking for, but try to keep direct criticism at a minimum. Tell her you are there to support her, if you are comfortable saying that. She will calm down.

Since you have been promoted over your old boss, everyone will be nervous about your ascension in that they will think they are next on the chopping block, particularly if your office is clerical.

I agree with "no closed door meetings" because when you are the only witness, you will be held accountable for her complaints about you.

Try really hard to spread your attention evenly across the staff so there is no perception of "favorites" or special treatment.

Document and let your boss know what is going on.

Anonymous -

It's been about two months since you posted. You've gotten some great advice.

What advice did you try and how what was the outcome?

Thanks